Hello Whattodo.
One of the things that helped me break from my alcoholic prescription drug taking, abusive husband was this:
The Duleth model of power and control wheel. Look it up.
I thought I loved my husband it was why I stayed. But love like friendship is a two way thing. I realised looking at the wheel, that what I was actually feeling was co-dependancey. That my need for love and a close relationship was masking the truth of what our relationship actually was.
His alcoholism and addiction had become his only love. He was never going to be in a relationship with me, because he loved his mistress ( alcohol and drugs) whom he would never give up.
It gave me the strength to leave and opened my eyes to the reality of our situation.
In his case he never changed and went on to abuse others before he died. However I believe change for some is possible if they want it and not at the expense of others.
I would love to see here, experiences of those who have changed, who have come through their addiction and can explain how they managed it.
Whilst supporting each other here is lovely and helpful, I feel the most hope and help to us the family supports, can come from those who navigated the systems and won their lives back.
Please give us hope.
You who have conquered these situations are invaluable ????????