Hi Poppy
You’re right to state it’s a huge red flag and there will still be a degree of Am I really going to relinquish the resource needed to buy more Coke from your hubbies perspective. I remember when I first tried to quit in June 2021 and my wife stated she needed full control and transparency over our finances. I point blank refused and flipped it back on her regarding trust, believing in me etc. This was all hogwash and was designed to create a smoke and mirrors situation to distort the truth.
Only in Feb 2022 once I had accepted who I’d become gave up our finances to my wife. It was a massive relief knowing I had no more access but vitally I knew my wife needed action to start trusting me again. The second part was so important to me that I didn’t care that I couldn’t withdraw any money. Not because I didn’t trust myself but because winning back trust which is fundamental to any relationship was that much more important.
When you truly accept what you have become you’ll do anything to start to repair the damage you’ve done. You had your chance and you blew it. You now have to abide by the terms and conditions set by others until you can show real change. Even then it has come to you with no thoughts or feelings of Look How I am Now, You Owe Me because I’ve changed. No one owes you anything because you blew it, you owe it to yourself to be a better human and this is where the real change happens.
Kulstar