Hi Nicole. Thinking of you and all of us today, when I was watching the telly today. And one of the actors in the drama said . . .
‘Nothing good comes from standing there studying the broken pieces. You’re better off picking up the pieces you want and putting them back together the way you want them. They may not fit the way they used to, but you can be proud of the new shape they take. It’s ok if you don’t have that answer yet, but you still need a plan. Start by deciding what you don’t want. A NO pile and a MAYBE pile.’
Yesterday I went with my husband for his visit with his therapist. This felt like a step in the right direction. I listened for the most part. He still is struggling with his behavior from years ago, and he still is struggling with accepting what happened. I feel this because of the things he says. It happened. He knows it. It is scary to realize it all happened. It feels so weird knowing more about it now and trying to accept it myself. So when he talks about – I listen. During the therapy session I said that I am in love with him. It is true. His therapist said that she could see this. He has mentioned my comment several times since the therapy session. I think it helps to look at it (the coke years), talk about, and then put it away for awhile until it feels right to look at it again. Maybe one day, hopefully, we won’t feel the need to look at this thing that happened to us – anymore. It will all still be there, but, we’re over here now. And, we’re ok – over here.