Hi LS,
I relate to your situation so much, although I’m a survivor of my situation. My late husband was an alcoholic and eventually I left just before my Son was 5 ( he’s now 17 ), my husband died. He didn’t die because we left, we left because he was an alcoholic. I was so scared that he would take him, ( my Son ), pick him up in a drunken state when he was a baby. I remember him holding my Son, whilst trying to cook with a frying pan, swaying back and forth over a cooker, I was petrified! Another time he held him whilst trying to cross the road at night, he could barely stand himself, swaying about. I still have PTSD from these incidents.
I got away though, I had to leave, I had to take my 4 year old away for his own protection and for my own sake, so that I could be ok to look after my Son. I relate to the addict being vulnerable whilst drunk and being abused and taken advantage of.
You need to end the relationship, he’s unfit to be a Father, please don’t feel guilty, on the contrary you must do the right thing for you and your child.
Wishing you all the best of luck, health and happiness for the future.xxx
p.s. Do not be phased by custody threats from him. He’s incapable of getting through 1 day sober, he has no grounds to be a responsible Parent, he’s given up that right.