Hi Poppy,
I’m so Sorry to read what has happened , it’s the merry go round of hell and absolutely not are you being unreasonable.
I have a similar story , I asked for all access to my husbands Accs, but he too used to say you need to trust me , refused and we did the same thing week in week out for 18 months .insisted I’m clean , the most he ever did was 12 days .
In 2020 I discovered his secret that he was an addict and using constantly prob since 2019 . my Children were 2 and 4 it was chaos, dealer leaving coke in the hedge to pick up , He disappeared for 4/5 days at a time using in different hotels – late summer last year I called it a day before I made myself seriously ill I felt like the person I once loved had died and the lies were out of control, he sank us financially and I could see the house bills weren’t going to be met ( he was the bread winner ) .
You’re going to be ok and the children but you need to keep strong and start questioning what lies ahead . It’s the most heartbreaking scenario but you have to think of you and the kids and your sanity .
Doesn’t sound like he’s hit rock bottom yet ..
Mine still hasn’t , he’s alone in the house , sleeps most days and personality differs every day . Our divorce finalises next month , I couldn’t do anymore I have had to make my peace with that.
Sending hugs and strength xxx