Hi Hayley,
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please know you aren’t weak or useless. This is HIS problem. You didn’t cause it and you can’t control it. Only he can take steps to sort himself and there is nothing you can do that will make a difference.
What you do have the choice in though is whether you want to stand by if he isn’t bothering to try and recover. This will have a huge impact on both your mental and physical health over time, not to mention your finances. Would you expect him to stand by your side while you destroyed your family? It is likely he will get worse over time and so will you.
There are CA meetings on every day all over the country, there is help for him if he wants it. If he doesn’t, start thinking of putting yourself and the kids first. Make sure you’re looking after you as he won’t x