Hi Confused,
Sorry I must have missed your post.
The sad truth is that no matter what we do, it will make no difference. You can beg and plead with him, you can theaten to leave, you can even leave, and none of this will guarantee he’s now going to get clean and sort his life. You can’t cure him and you can’t control this. He won’t change until he has a realisation and really wants to fix this. The only thing you can do is put yourself and your family first. Being with an addict can destroy your life and it’s completely up to you what you want to do. You don’t have to live like this. It’s not fair of him to expect you to stand by him while he makes no effort to recover and instead is hellbent in bringing nothing but stress and upset to your life.
I would be asking him to leave so that you aren’t uprooting the children but if that’s not an option, see if there’s any help available to you with housing/protection from abuse (at the very least, what they do results in emotional abuse and usually financial abuse). Look after you and make sure you’re not neglecting that, it’s so easy to forget about yourself in all of this. You don’t deserve any of this so put your foot down if it’s safe for you to do so, and get some help and support from trusted friends who you might need. It’s an awful situation but it’s time to start putting you first ❤️ x