Hi James
can you help me, my partner says he wants to give up this awful drug, (we have gone thorough this a couple of times) I’ve told him this is the last time my health or heart can’t take anymore. He says he is on a site who are helping but they says not to tell me.
I’m the type of person who needs to know what is going on so I can understand and help not hinder, otherwise my mind will wander to what they saying am I helping by keeping quiet and not responding to his outburst of hurt. they said He needs to do this himself, he has to take a day at a time. Which I totally understand, however when you have made a commitment shouldn’t you at least try not take it.
I want to tell him that I know he used recently but don’t know how without sounding hurtful or judgmental. I’m really trying to understand his situation but if he still using to get through a day then I don’t think he will ever give up. It’s going to be a vicious cycle. He will always be going back to the start. (If he is an actually getting help) .sorry.
I’ve been trying for over 2 1/2 years now when is it time to give up trying to save him.? I’m exhausted and I know my health is suffering, I’m hiding things from everyone I love and that’s all I want to do is scream. I’m trying to get on with my life but when you get invited out as a couple and only one turn up I feel as if I don’t have a partner and I have to make excuses for him. I now make excuses for us both so I don’t have to watch the pity in peoples eyes.
My questions are:-
how long was you an addict for and did you have any issues with anxiety, depression or breathing?
How did you overcome these.
When you first give up how did you feel how did you cope with cravings, feelings, work.
Did you use professionals or go it alone,
how long was it before the cravings started and how did you cope.
Did you explain to your other half how the process was going work and what you had to do.
did you go to meetings in person or online and share this with your partner
I’ve heard that this drug makes you lie to your other half even when that’s all we are doing is trying to help and be supportive and you lie, you avoid you say your having a bad day, need to get out for some fresh air and won’t be long, you need time to process the difficulties of the day and be better tomorrow and leave the house before you get home from work.
What about what day we have had, how much of a bad day we have had and need to talk for support and it’s never there.
Sorry for the outburst, I am angry, confused and upset.
Thank you
navy