Keep going Lola, kitty cat, markymark…keep going. Lola you are such an inspiration, and I know this is exhausting – but you are achieving so much, hour by hour day by day. You are almost there. Keeping running in the right direction. The cravings will stop, you can beat this ❤️
Im up in the middle of the night. Day 4 of reducing from 28-12. Think I found my limits to being able to function. So I will probably focus on holding the ship steady at 12 a day for a few days. Started to feel pretty horrendous to be honest. I was driving to work with cold and hot, needles across my skin, and the voice, just take a few more…but I haven’t. For 20 years that voice has never left me, I suspect it will be a life long commitment to staying off this poison and not falling back into dark ways<span style=”-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0);”>. I am lonely, I’m down. I wish I could just have the opportunity to live a normal life, and enjoy the smaller things. Not sure why I thought it was an acceptable way to deal with bereavement and loss…then stress. It’s almost that I learnt nothing in life about being truly resilient. So this is my post, I’m down, fed up, lost, tired, guilty, ashamed….but if my mum was still alive she would tell me to add these words too: trying to recover, finding a new way, perseverance, honest and determined. I would say something has clicked in me to bring this train to a stop. So this is my fight, and I need to keep going. I have a feeling there are going to be some truly low days ahead. Hope you all are fast asleep and peaceful. Stay strong, you can do this. I believe in you. </span>