<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hi Leashy: Your story is similar to mine. I was where you are, but that was about 35 years ago. Except at that point, we were married and living together. I remember thinking that if I get to the point where I left him, I was never going back. Up to this point I was all in and with our very young children. So scared with no resources. He quit the coke, and we moved on. He worked hard, I got a job, and we took care of each other and our children. We have had a loving and happy life together all these years. Since those days I have kept most of my financial life separated from his, which he didn’t agree with and complained about for years. My advice . . . If you decide to go back – don’t. Instead go forward, either with him or without him. Chose your terms and stand fast. Being in love with an addict is something that I had to accept. Walk into it with your eyes wide open. You already know what can happen. I suspected that he was cheating on me all those years ago and he did. I believe that he hasn’t cheated since the coke days. And, I believe that he has great remorse for that. He did use coke again twice in all these years, but he hasn’t relapsed in all these years. His addiction has presented itself with gambling off and on in recent years, though not currently. You have created a safe space for you and your children. Don’t give all of that up. You will know what decisions to make. It’s not just one decision. He has traumatized me for sure and still it surprises me what he has put himself through, what he has put me through, what he has put our children through, what he has put his parents through. Why did all that happen to us? He will say, ‘I f—-d up’. That’s his whole answer. Nobody did anything to him that he can blame it on, nobody died, there was no catastrophic event. One day he did coke with his buddies – and, then 5 years later – he quit. It’s not our whole story.</p>
