Hi cmd,
I know this cannot be easy, especially at what s supposed o be such a nice time of year but, you’re doing the right thing. I have had many a christmas ruined by my brother who is a drug (opioid) and alcohol addict.
Every occasion I can think of has been ruined by him and this is no exaggeration. I feel like, had my mother took the action you’re taking now, we would not be living our lives in fear of a 33 year old man-child.
Our mother is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, our other brother shakes like a leaf every time he’s in the room and our little sister hates him.
We’re all on eggshells daily as we don’t know what version of him we’re going to get – on top of all that, he goes weeks without bathing and the whole house stinks.
Honouring this boundary is going to, if nothing else keep you safe and less anxious.
Stick to your guns, and make him aware when the time is right, the only way he gets access again is when he has been through a robust rehab programme.
Look after number one, because he always will.