Reply To: Being cheated on after cocaine and the person had a baby and told him recently

#37569
thistim3
Participant

My family;  Awful that you have this situation.  It’s so hard when children are involved.  Right now, without further delay, seek some support for yourself and your baby.  He has told you to move on without him, and you really need to.  It will be easier on you and your child in the long run if you do.  Try to find a group support for single mothers and even a Nar-Anon group.  I found both through a local church years ago that helped me in so many ways.  You can find so many resources in your area.  You have it better than some here – that he has left.  It is so difficult to have a relationship with an actively using addict.  Not safe for you or your baby to be in that situation.  It’s not a life you want.  It’s much worse than being abandoned by someone that you love.  The lies, disappearing, stealing, no financial stability, cheating, criminal behavior, and in some cases – violence, etc.  The person that you thought that you loved, doesn’t exist anymore, because the drugs transform them into someone who doesn’t care anymore.  Not about themselves, their spouses, their parents, even their own children.  It is horrific to watch it happen – while you are looking right at them.  So scary. A real life horror show.  It is traumatic.  Look at it for what it really is.  You need to, and your child needs for you to.  It’s the only way to a better life for you and your child.  Many think that if the addict stops using – then all returns back to normal.  Not entirely true.  The addict has also traumatized themselves and in most cases have permanently damaged themselves mentally and even physically.  Many continue for years with struggling through debilitating relapses, treatment, rehabs, and  financial situations.  Traumatizing for children brought up while this goes on through their lifetimes.  Not many success stories in here, but you can make your story one of them.  I pray that you will.

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