This is heart breaking.
Gosh, this sounds startlingly similar to my life except I’m the older sister – sadly, our brother missed his chance to speak to our Dad and almost 8 years on, he’s still s scummy, druggie and manipulative alcoholic.
You aren’t selfish for being done, I’ve told my brother if he’s going to unalive himself, can he just ensure he has ID because I’m not coming to do it.
I can’t tell you what to do, but I walked away. After 22 years of sh*t, I’m just now longer interested.