I’ve just read your story and have tears in my eyes, and I’d like to be able to look into yours and say ‘let go of it all and just breathe’.
How amazing you were there and did what you did; how glad I am to hear you’ve got some time off work – please use it on yourself, on your own recovery from not only recent events, but your childhood as it was.
Do you go to an Al Anon Family Group? (Or did you go to an Alateen Group?) If not, I recommend that you try going to a weekly meeting – give it 6 meetings so that you give it a chance. You need good things for you and Al Anon, although not perfect (nothing is in an ongoing sense) is hugely helpful and you’ll get very real, human support there.
You’ve done your mum more than proud and I hope that she returns the committment and love you’re giving her.
Take care of you.
