Our stories are so similar it is scary. My son turned up at 5.50am yesterday morning and I realised then how manipulative he is – coming after a 3 week gap of not seeing him – arriving in a storm to test my emotions. I fed him and gave him a bag of warm, dry clothes but did not let him in the family home. He was on the doorstep as I left for work this morning at 7am and this time I stepped over him and just kept going. I am now – and only now, feeling angry at him for the choices he has made and the terrible state he is in. My son’s face is yellow and puffy from alcohol abuse. His hands are bruised and swollen from fighting. I just do not know what to do for the best – I am on first name terms with the homeless department of our local authority, I have spoken to charities and they all say I am doing the right thing. My brother wants me to get my son committed but I know that 9 days already spent in a unit did not get him off drink. Adfam and others are really helpful. I do not have younger children as such – he has a brother a couple of years younger who is thriving in life and has such a good future ahead of him. They were so close growing up, played in the same football teams and had the same circle of friends. Sadly he no longer wants anything to do with his brother and sees him as one of life’s losers. There is help out there for addicts who want to change but I fear the longer they abuse themselves the harder it will be to make that change. I am so worried that winter is now upon us and the weather will be changing soon, if his conduct means he is not welcome at the local homeless hostels I am worried sick he will be found dead of hyperthermia. I really wish people would understand that giving money straight to many of the homeless just helps them continue to live such a terrible existence. I would urge all those kind-hearted enough to want to help to give donations to the many charities out there trying to help the homeless. For the sake of myself and other family members I keep my chin up and my resolve intact, but it is so hard. x
