Oh Emma my heart goes out to you, it’s like you are writing about my life, my son started with cannabis, but then went on to heroin, he has done all the things you describe and much more, try not to feel guilty about your feelings for him, easier said than done I know, I too have told my son that I love the son he was but hate the addict he is at the moment, I’m so tired of it all and can’t see a happy ending any more, I go from being so angry to being so sad that he has chosen to throw his life away like this, one piece of advice I would like to share is look after yourself, go to your GP, seek help for YOU, it will not solve your sons problems but you need help to get through this, my counsellor told me it’s like a bereavement as you are mourning the son you have lost to drugs, wise words if you think about it, this site has been a comfort to me as a place to write about things I’m so ashamed off and not be judged , take one day at a time
Keep strong, take care
Sue xxx