thank you both for your kind words, It really helps to share on here, nobody judges, I think because we all have lived either as a partner or parent of an addict, its empathy not pity that comes through in replys. I have had many many hours of counselling through the years but although it helped me, I never really felt they understood what I had gone through. Here I can share my deepest thoughts and feelings, at times just visiting the site and reading the posts and replies gives me some sort of release I cant really explain Not that Im glad others are suffering like me but, I dont know I cant put into words how my heart is lightened a little.
Lily1 you certainly havent depressed me, it helps to share experiences, my youngest son was only around 11 when this first all started he saw thing no youngster should ever see, he was bullied at school because his brother was a “druggie” he saw me trying to keep it together for him and at 17 he supported me through really bad times in short I nearly lost my life to the big C (still cant say the word), I battled and beat it, all the time out of my mind with worry of not knowing where his brother was. My other son was older and had left home to live with his partner he still feels guilty about it. I have so so much to be thankful for Im so proud of the two of them, they are hard working family men and have given me 5 beautiful grandchildren, I still to this day dont know what went wrong All 3 of them were brought up exactly the same and until 16ish he was just as honest and hardworking he did well at school and was a brilliant footballer to the point of being approached by a scout of a well known football club, his future was looking so good but then like a pack of cards it all tumbled down, im sorry if im rambling again but once I start I cant seem to stop, at this moment in time nobody has seen or heard from him for 2 week now but I know from past experience he will just turn up as though nothing has happened and expects to be treated as if nothing is wrong, can I handle him this time, I truly dont know at the moment, all I hope for is a little peace of mind.
I will pray for you 2 ladies and send big cyber hugs to you both, amd remember ladies keep strong and take care of yourselves you are the most important person in your life, hope you have a peaceful weekend
love Sue Xxxxxx