[lucy]

Im going to pray for him for myself n for my children its about the only thing left to do. Ur right u have to put urself first after so long bcoz the only person we can change is ourselves n ive finally learnt that but even tho now i can tell him to go and mean it and feel strong most of the time about focusing on myself n my kids i still have days where im lost with it where i feel a mixture of emotions about the years spent together and still feel guilt and heartache wen i no i have to put boundaries down it still crushes me to see the rapid change in him weni no he has relapsed and i still feel fear over cutting him out completely which is why i never have..he is pretty much all ive got and vice versa