Sorry accidentally posted early but to continue I eventually got kicked out soon after my 18th birthday which led to my dad bailing me out of jail for auto burglary a few days later. I was arrested tazed and charged with 4 felony charges. I was ashamed. I wanted to show my parents I was still the good kid with good ambition bit I continued to just smoke and drink the next year until my case ended. I was put on probation and had to do drug treatment. I successfully did drug treatment and was sober for some sixty odd days of everything. I felt great
I wasn’t gonna drink or smoke ever again, I was so happy sober. But the addiction snick up on me and I began smoking marijuana every few days and drinking when I could get away with it, usually by myself. This went on for maybe two weeks before the worst day of my life. I stole 8 Xanax, ground them up and swallowed them. The whole day was a blur but I stole Jewelery, and broke things in my parents home. My father showed up at my friends hours later to get me and he was pissed. I didn’t know why, I had no memory of what I did. He brought me home to show me the mess and yell and ask where his dead fathers Jewelery was. I didn’t remember taking it, and honestly thought someone broke on and took it
I was kicked out right then and there. Weeks later I put the pieces together and I realize I did do these terrible things. I do not no what to do. I am at my lowest. I belong in prison or something when I’m on drugs. I love to be sober but the temptation to be high beats that sometimes. I would like some tips from you parents on here as to what I should do. I am not looking for forgiveness I just want them to know I lovethem even when it seems I don’t. I want them to know I am sorry for being such a fuck up. I want them to know I am ASHAMED of what I have done. I don’t know what to do anymore. I haven’t talked to my parents since the incident because I don’t know what to say and am scared. All I know for sure is I deserve what has happened and I wish I never messed with drugs nor alcohol. God, forgive me.