In the first few years there were crazy arguments i was completely involved in the madness of addiction by taking it personally, trying to help, not understanding the facts behind addiction..but i realised that i could only change myself and that my partner actually may never stop (we had been thru everything together and i had been brought to my knees in despair in the process) and so i loved him i was still there for him but my hope had all but gone that we would have the future i once dreamed ov and i new i wouldnt be able to live this half life forever and so stopped taking it personally i realised he had no choice once a relapse had happened and that it wasnt because he didnt want to be with me or that no amount of driving myself crazy could stop him and so learnt to accept although that took me about 4 years and hurt like hell to see another relapse and i still supported him i just let him come to me etc it is like a living nightmare knowing that he has now passed away bcoz of that drug,,all the years fighting have been for nothing and he has left a hole in our life that will never be filled..he was such a big character full ov life and energy and cant believe he was not able to beat it even if my hope was slowly dying..life is cruel he gave it everything he had to beat it and had so much life to live..bless u all in your loved ones fightx
