Hi MB…. i have never posted on here before but after reading your post i just felt i had to reply. Your story is almost identical to mine. I have a son who has smoked weed for around 2 years. when he can he smokes the really strong stuff.he also lives at home and like you our relationship was non existent.He too has isolated himself from friends and family and see no one outside of work other than his dealers. it has been a very difficult painful road for us. I have learned to separate the addict and my son. I no longer lend him money or bail him out of bad situations. I don’t let him smoke the vile stuff in our house (he goes outside ) He too used to get aggressive and verbally abusive . The last time he did it i threw him out . He came back the next day and apologized and we let him back home. after that i refuse to let him treat me in that way and told him so. Next time he does it i will phone the police. Do you have any body to talk to ? I go to a family and friends group which has saved my sanity ! i would try to find a group local to you and i know its hard but go and keep going it really does help. I have been advised by a drug worker that my son probably has un diagnosed ADHD ( he was extremely hyper as a kid ) As adults they are more likely to become addicted as they use drugs to self medicate themselves. I used to feel very angry towards my son and couldnt look at him somedays without wanting to scream at him. Then i became very sad and cried a lot. Now i live my life and leave him to his . In the last few months our relationship has improved he will talk about everyday stuff but any mention of his weed use and he shuts down and wont speak to me for days so i dont try to discuss it with him. i figure that he knows i love him and will always be there whenever he’s ready to change. i don’t hold out much hope but i continue to love him as moms its all we can do.
Its been said to me many times ” You didnt cause it you cant control it and you cant cure it ! ”
Sending you a hug
Dee xxx
