Good evening,
Wow, that does sound like a lot. I know you’ve said that you’ve been to counselling for him and with him, but have you thought about it just for yourself? For the sake of you children maybe? The Icarus Trust is a free service which provides counselling and signposting to services in your area which can be of serious use to you. If you want to get in touch, you can on info@incarustrust.org on on their website.
I hope this is of some help and you can unload and speak to someone for weeks 🙂