Hi Jojo,
I’m so sorry, that just sounds tragic. I know you’re friends help you you, but you can get support from people who have been in similar situations, and you can relate to them. They are called Family Friends, and are volunteers with The Icarus Trust. There is no charge for having someone to speak to. You can contact them on their website http://www.icarustrust.co.uk or contact them on info@icarustrust.org.
I hope you find someone you can relate to.