Hi NJ,
That is an awful and tough situation you’re in! You need to have a break and speak to someone about what you’re going through to help process it and get the support you deserve. The Icarus Trust are a charity who provide a free service called Family Friend. These are people who have also dealt with addiction in their families and can try and provide the support service you need, as well as a signposting service. Drop them an email on info@icarustrust.org or go to their website http://www.icarustrust.org.
Wish you all the best!