Hi Desperado!
For a situation of this level, you need to speak to people who have had a similar experience, who can relate to you in one form or another. The Icarus Trust is an charity which provides a free Family Friend, who is someone for you to speak to. And then there is a signposting service to help you find the best help for you, your family and your situation. Please get in touch with them on info@icarustrust.org or go to their website http://www.icarustrust.org. They can make all the difference!
Best of luck!