Why? why have you been taken from me, my heart is so heavy and the tears flow uncontrollably because of the unfairness, your untimely passing, such a tragic loss and I miss you so so much.
I have been grieving your loss for years but this is so final, I knew it was coming but I didn’t want it to happen, my dream was always that you’d return and I could get to know you, learn what made you smile, what music you liked, what clothes you liked. I don’t believe a bobble had, tracky bottoms and a big coat was you, Heroine stripped every ounce of your life didn’t it, taking grip of it all, no room for anyone to get in there and help you see the light. A false sense of reality, it made you believe it was your comfort blanket, your healer, your mask, escape from the world that in fact it took you away from, it ostracised you, stole you from you own life.
I know material things in life are all but an illusion but you weren’t, you were real, my brother, apart of my soul, that was robbed from me twice. Once in childhood and then again in adulthood. So tragically, unfairly abused in every way.
I hate the word, the meaning, the outcome of Heroine, its abusive, it has no mercy on anyone, the addict their family, their friends, its like a tornado with no care of human life, emotions, its gonna destroy at what ever level it hits, its either gonna kill, or at the very least it will be destructive, the pain the loss it leaves behind, just moving onto to the next victim.
Why are we conditioned to love, when loss is so painful, why…..what is this all really about?
I miss you Andy, I feel empty, your passing is so wrong, so unfair.
