So sorry that you are in a bad situation but CazAndy is right that you should feel proud that you are taking steps to make some changes.
Icarus Trust is a charity that can help people in your situation. We offer a free service so you might want to make contact. We can help you find the help that you might need as well as providing you with a trained volunteer, called a Family Friend, who you (or your family)could to talk to one to one in confidence.
Why not give it a go it might help you to take back control ?
Please contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org
I really hope that this helps and that you get through this. Good luck!
