Hi kf, I know how you feel, I feel just at torn in my situation, when my husband is in recovery he is the best person I know, the problem is when he relapses it’s the most horrible and scary time of my life and it’s unbearable. I have just had my second child with him only a month ago and I’m constantly debating if I can trust him to stay clean, he has already used drugs twice since the baby has come and I just can’t bear the kids being let down by him like I am. However he is the best dad when he is ok. Can’t work out if I stay or go. He’s the love of my life, we have been together for 16 yrs but for the last 3 yrs I feel like he’s someone else because of the drug abuse. I feel like my husbands dead and has been replaced by a monster. Don’t have any fight left in me, but I can’t even find the strength to leave like you did. At least you put your kids first and took that step. I think your really brave. It’s hard to trust someone who has let you down so much. Stay strong, I hear of stories of husbands who turn there lives around when there partners leave them. I guess if they really loved us they would.
