Wow. This is probably the best piece of writing to explain how a person of an addict feels, this was me two years ago until i finally realised nothing was going to change unless i changed it for me and my two beautiful kids. An 18 year relationship gone just like that. Today i feel bitter i am not the person i used to be and doubt i will ever trust another bloke again. I am cold and have massive barriers for another man to try and smash down. The thought of moving forward is scary as the man i leave behind is the only man i have known, but i know i cannot go backwards as i feel numb towards him. Kids think sun shines out of his backside but they do not know the truth. How do you explain that to a 8 and 2 yr old, answer is you dont. The relief of not having to spy through a key hole when he’s gone to the toilet or the panic that hes took too long at the shop or sleeping with your purse under the pillow. I just want a normal bloke who will put me n my kids first and will do anything to make us happy. I really hope he does exist and restores my faith in men. I just need to find him!!! Thank you for this its nice to know that I wasn’t crazy n paranoid like he made me believe, instead I was right. I tried, I failed but it wasn’t my fault.
