Thanks for sharing your story. It can help to share experiences. I wonder whether you would like to be in touch with The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the friends and families of addicts. We could put you in touch with one of our experienced trained volunteers who you could talk to. You may find talking with them would help you to make sense of how you are feeling. It is a free service.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Good luck.
