Hi Charlotte,
I am so very sad to read your post. You really have so much to cope with at the moment and I can see how hard it is for you. It must be so difficult knowing that none of this is through any fault of your own.
Please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity set up to offer support to people like yourself who are affected by a loved one’s addiction. Talking with one of our ‘Family Friends’, who are trained and experienced volunteers, might help you not to feel so lost and may help you to see a way forward.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that you get some support for yourself. Wishing you all the best.