Hi joan22 thank you for your comment and kindness means alot. I am the exact same just like u a feel people judge me and think am on drugs is well its so horrible and degrading, I also Say to myself a wish he would just walk away meet somebody new and let me be me. I am battling with bad depression is well a feel a cant speak about my feelings to anyone coz its like there judging me. A know taking him bk is the wrong thing to do but its like he can be a great person when he’s clean and a know he adores his children when he is straight he’s bn going to a drug worker once a month and he was off it for nearly 2 years but its like he wants to control me am not aloud to go out with friend coz he thinks am cheating then he,ll call me horrible names and we end up pysically fighting each other. I just feel Av failed as a parent for my 2 beautiful children???? a feel and everyone else feels that Av picked him over my children’s safety and its getting me so low. I love my children they are the world to me. I hope I get the strength one day to never look bk and feel so guilty. I lie in my bed at night in tears because I hate myself for what I have put my children threw and that Av wasted 15 years of my life. I just wish life wasn’t so cruel and hard. Its really nice bn able to talk to someone that’s bn threw the same all the best again and thank you ????
