Hi Leon. Like you, I am forever bailing my son out of debt and he never seems to learn. Last week on my way home from work, he rang me asking for money because he was desperate for drink/drugs and wanted me to lend him some ( not that he ever pays it back). I decided that I had to make a stand….like you I work hard -while he has lived on benefits for the last 20 years- but when I refused him the money, he threatened to hang himself. As he has actually tried this before i was heartbroken and the 40 mile journey home was horrendous. I was torn between transferring the money to his account and ignoring his threat. Whichever way I chose, I was putting another nail in his coffin! Anyway I stood my ground and he rung again…and again…and again…and couldnt understand why I was so upset. In the end i refused to answer the phone and prayed that he would get through the day somehow. He text later and said sorry so i gather he had got his fix from someone else. We arent helping our children by giving into them all the time and maybe we should both try the ‘tough love’ approach. I blame myself for everything bad that has happened to him in the past but he is a grown man now and is capable of making his own choices….and paying the concequences of his own actions. I feel just like you and want to run away from it all but when you are all they have, it isnt an easy thing to do. I am frustrated because I was just getting all his debts under control and npw hes back to square one again….but I know now that I cant afford to keep doing this. Lets both take a step back and put the onus back where it belongs – with them!! As long as we continue to bail them out, they will continue to let us. Lets start as we mean to go on with a big fat ‘NO MORE!!’ Good luck 🙂
