As a recovering addict who has a supportive partner I thank every day that she is still by my side. I am unique in so far as I seem to be able to hold back from sliding into total chaos so the damage I do is less. I’ve still lied and been a jerk like all addicts are but I suppose there is enough of good in me to keep her with me.
I am working on my issues. I am getting help and I want to change.
All I can say to you is that you gave it your best and you are not to blame for him not stopping.
You are to be admired for trying so hard.
Also if you can find a little forgiveness in your heart for he will be hurting so much. Addiction is the cruelest of all mental illnesses. The drugs ease your pain for a bit but then create even more than before. Dragging you down until there is nothing left of you.
I hope I have found the stop button. I am sorry your husband didn’t, for both of you.