Hi Steff,
I am sorry to read your story and to see what a very difficult situation you are in , having to make some really hard choices.
If you think it would help to talk with one of our experienced, trained volunteers please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support for people ,like yourself , who are having to deal with the addictive behaviour of someone close. Maybe talking with one of them, who would understand what you are facing, might help you to see the way ahead.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Wishing you all the very best.