Hi Mymlvloz,
I ‘m so sorry to read of how you feel and how emotionally tough it is for you to think of stopping enabling your son. You have been going through such a hard time.
If you would like to talk to people who would understand what you are dealing with please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports family and friends of addicts because we know how very difficult that is.
Maybe talking to one of our trained people would help you to find a way forward and get some support for yourself.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
All the very best.