17 year old daughter on the brink

Dear Pat,

I am sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this.

Please encourage your daughter to call the Samaritans when and if she is feeling suicidal. They operate a free helpline on 116 123.

If you think that she is in immediate danger, do not hesitate to call 999. If you’re worried about an urgent medical concern, you can call 111 to speak to a fully trained adviser. Depending on the situation, the NHS 111 team can connect you to a nurse, emergency dentist or even a GP, and can arrange face-to-face appointments if they think you need one.

It is also worth encouraging your daughter to speak to her GP about her mental health and substance use.

https://www.talktofrank.com/get-help/find-support-near-you – this is a link to a service directory should your daughter wish to engage in drug treatment services.

Should you want more information on drug use, FRANK on 0300 123 6600 is a

national helpline providing advice and information about drugs. MIND offers a helpline on 0300 123 3393 providing information on mental health issues.

It is important that you and your family are supported in dealing with this very difficult situation. The Adfam service finder map will help you to find support for family members in your local area (here: https://adfam.org.uk/help-for-families/finding-support/search-for-local-support).

DrugFAM on 0300 888 3853 is free helpline offered for those affected by someone else’s drug or alcohol use, and Families Anonymous operates a helpline for families and friends concerned by a loved one’s drug abuse on 0845 1200 660.

I hope that this information is useful.

Best wishes,

Clara

Hi Pat,

So sorry to read your post. What a horrible time you are having. It must be so hard for you and the family feeling helpless in the face of your daughter’s substance abuse.

Clara has given you good contacts who would offer support to your daughter. If you would like some support for yourself and the family, maybe you would find it useful to contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support to people who are dealing with the impact of a family member’s addiction.

If you get in touch, we would assign you to one of our trained people who you could talk with. They have a lot of experience and would understand what you are going through. Maybe talking would help you to find a way forward.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

I do hope that this is useful. All the best.

Hi pat

I hope things are better for you now?

My daughter who’s 17 has been addicted to Xanax on and off for about 8 months now. She’s says she takes it as she’s depressed and anxious. Frequently mentions commiting suicide. After 4 or so Cahms referrals she’s finally had an assessment but may not be seen again! We are at our wits end and sometimes feel that there is no help. She’s back taking it and mentally not well at all, not eating and has memory loss.

It has turned out life upside . Like you I have awful thoughts about her dying . It’s a battle that is certainly not over.

Yes it’s very difficult as they are 17 which is still young and vulnerable. It’s a difficult balance between supporting them and trying to get them to take responsibility.

We Support our daughter 24/7 but this definitely has an effect on her younger siblings!

Is your daughter at college or working?

Sometimes I wonder if for the sake of the younger children it would be better if she didn’t live here but I don’t think she’d survive on her own and we would still worry about her!