20 year cocaine addiction

Hi Everyone

I have been addicted to cocaine on and off for the last 20 years and in the last 2 years it’s literally been dail addiction and it’s a horrible way to live life and it makes me so sad inside to know that it has a hold on me.

When I not on coke which is very rare, I’m confident, outgoing, sociable and enjoy life but those positives are totally taken away from me when I take coke. It makes me introvert, anxious, and for a long while now I have not enjoyed taking the cocaine and yet I still don’t seem to have any control on stopping it …..

It’s horrible and if I could go back 20 years to when I took that first line I’d never would have taken it knowing now what I do and what it has done to my life etc …….. I don’t look forward to anything anymore, it’s all about getting more coke ……… it’s a horrible life im living and it’s horible for all the people around me.

This addiction has now sort of coupled itself with a daily alcohol intake problem as the 2 sort of go together for most cocaine addicts and this also makes me feel sad.

I’m not a stupid person and have a beautiful wife and yet I battle daily with this horrible addiction.