30 weeks pregnant and dealing with an addict

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    • August 10, 2022 at 7:30 am #30416
      fayzey
      Participant

      Hi Ctip, so sorry you are having to deal with this while pregnant, I hope you are managing to look after yourself in all this and not stress too much (easier said than done I know). The same happened to me – our son’s 3.5 now. It’s such a shame that the addiction takes over when you can see how much they want that family life and have so much love to give. Mine is an amazing dad when he can stay off the drink and drugs.

      I’m glad you have a supportive family. Mine slept all the way through my labour as he’d been on the drugs and kept asking the midwives how long it was going to go on for! They got so annoyed with him at one point they almost threw him out. He then pressurised me to go home with the baby before I was ready as he couldn’t deal with being at the hospital – so, make sure you have another person there to actually support you just in case would be my advice.

      We’ve had amazing times like you’ve said – perfect and lovely family life, and terrible times (binges, he got sectioned, vanishing for days) since then. I’m now insisting he gets professional help and does the recovery ‘steps’ at NA before he can come back after the latest relapse but I feel terrible as him and our son have such a strong bond.

      I’m here if you need to chat about things – it’s such a hard situation, especially with the pregnancy hormones thrown in I found! xx

    • August 10, 2022 at 11:20 am #30420
      ctip30
      Participant

      Thankyou for your response 🙂

      It really is so hard being pregnant and trying not to stress I feel like the whole time I have been stressed. I also feel terrible for my 2 children as they are not getting the best version of me that they deserve 🙁

      I wish I could say that my partner is willing to get help but he has shown no sign so far, it’s just words and broken promises it’s such a shame.

      Is your partner willing to get professional help? I wouldn’t even know how to ask mine as I feel it would start and argument and get thrown in my face.

      It’s good that your partner has a good relationship with your son 🙂 as lots of stories you read on here they tend to disappear and have no consideration for their children, it’s so sad!

      I also hope that you work it all out and can be happy x

    • August 11, 2022 at 7:41 am #30440
      fayzey
      Participant

      Hi ctip, he is getting professional help now but while he was still living here he told me he made the calls but I’ve since found out he didn’t – I won’t have him back living here now unless I can see he’s making progress long term with recovery and keeping up with the meetings…. I don’t really know if I will ever get to that point but one day at a time I guess….I’d like to stay together but I’m just not sure about living together again. It feels like too much of a risk to go back to all the anxiety again.

      He would do anything for our son and I think that’s what’s keeping him going at the moment.

      I really hope your partner manages to get clean and you never know the new baby might be the motivation he needs – but prepare yourself for a rocky road ahead I think and think what you are prepared to put up if he’s living with you as you and the kids need to come first xx

    • August 11, 2022 at 7:43 am #30441
      fayzey
      Participant

      Would you ask him to move out or do you think that would make you more stressed at the moment? Best to do whatever’s going to be easiest to deal with and make sure you and baby are ok xx

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