39 years and its all gone

Hi. I think you have absolutely done the right thing. My partner drank herself to death a year after I left. I have tortured myself over and over but the truth is it would have happened anyway as she didn’t even say she wanted to stop.  Prior to leaving I endured either abuse or being treat like I wasn’t there. After I left I had repeated phone calls and messages telling me everything was my fault but in reality it gave her yet another excuse to keep drinking.  I’m devastated and grieving the person I loved and thought loved me prior to the drinking becoming really bad. The harsh reality is that the alcohol is the only motivation in life and nothing else matters anymore. I feel so cheated and now I’m alone again at 54 and will never trust my own judgement to ever be in a relationship again.  Ultimately however there is only you that can answer your question.  When I went to her funeral I had some people sitting in judgement but they want to try living in my shoes for a few days never mind years and see how they feel now. The person I loved turned into a monster and i am glad the monster can’t hurt me anymore but still grieving the person I loved before the drink. If I hadn’t left I would have ended up either killing myself or been sectioned. Good luck.