[juliemcevoy50]

Yesterday my husband and I called the police about our 31 year old son. He was alway a challenging baby, child, teenager and now man. He came into this world kicking and screaming and he never stopped. Over the past 16 years life with our son has been fuelled by chaos. He started smoking cannabis (skunk) at about 16 and as a result has caused him to make continuous mistakes concerning his life ever since. We have tried to help but I reconcile now we enabled. What are mothers and fathers supposed to do we protect our cubs at all costs even if the cost is to ourselves. A couple of years ago he met a girl it was his first serious relationship she was 6 years older than him and just divorced, no children but she desperately wanting children. She told him and us she couldn’t have children due to a gynaecology issue however we suggested he take precautions just in case. They didn’t and as a result a beautiful baby boy was born last July. We all thought just maybe this would be the turning point short lived as it was the relationship faltered there was no real love there in any event. We suggested he got his ducks in order ie got a job a place to live (he’s lived with us all his life apart from a short spell in a one bedroom property after he’d behaved so appalling to us and we asked him to leave) he was evicted from the property for not paying rent and came back to us last October looking dreadful and promising to abide by the rules of the house and to get his life on track ready to move out when he could. My husband and I live with my 87 year old mother. She has an Annex adjacent to our house. She was widowed nearly 4 years ago and we all felt this arrangement would be helpful to everyone, it is of course but my son’s presence in the house follows us like a black cloud. He sleeps all day stays up all night he’s angry abusive and threatens to knock my husband out for no reason. He swears at me telling me to shut the f… up and go away etc. He caused criminal damage to one of our doors Sunday and the next day refused to get out of bed no remorse no empathy. I gave him an ultimatum get up take the eviction letter to the council or I will call police. The police was called. He refused to get up for them which resulted in force and backup. It was distressing to hear his screams it was distressing to watch the struggle. We all cried. Our son has sent vile messages to the mother of his child and so she has sought legal advice and told him he can’t see his son. We are not a fan of his ex but on this issue what can she do. Our son has flouted all the rules smoked skunk on our premises and rolled up in the room he’s occupied. Takes our bank cards to buy cigarettes if I don’t leave him any. Uses the water and electricity and food but contributes nothing. Our son was cautioned for the criminal damage yesterday and warned not to return to us. He did and came back knocking loudly on the front door saying he wanted his mobile and wallet but we’d given those to the police officers in his hold-all earlier. It was a ploy we believe manipulation at its best… my husband opened the door to show him where he’d placed the items they weren’t there of course jack had them already. He pulled at my husband to come outside just him and our son wanting to fight. He threw his hold-all back into the house and tried to block the door being closed. I called the police and our son left. This story omits many of the distressing moments over the years and if I started to try and tell this would be a novel. I have written this just to reach out to anyone else who is going through similar issues. I wish for my son to get better both mentally and physically but for now I have to let him go

[kklost]

Sending you my thoughts. I’m not in a similar situation, my husband is the user.

But I didn’t want to read and not comment. I think you must be such good hearted people to have done all you have. But you last line sounds like you are exhausted

Sending you hugs

[Author]

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