[danman83]

Hey rob.. you are right. Your son must want to quit himself. You can not force it on him. Im struggling through a cocaine addiction my self. Im doing my very best to stop. But its just so hard. I hate the stuff. I wish i never even attempted to take it.

There is a good app you could reccommend to him called pocket rehab. Its were addicts and ex addicts talk, and help each other out. Its great, plus there is an emergency button that you press if you feel like using and it puts you through to another addict or ex addict and they talk you round in not to use. It does help alot.

Does your son want to stop then?

[sotired]

He does. He always says to me that NOBODY wakes up in the morning and WANTS to use. It is just tough for me because I know leaving him alone and allowing him to sort this out is the right thing to do but the not knowing is really tough. I have to just sit back and hope you the best. The problem for me is that after so many relapses I see the slightest little change as doomsday and I think the worst. I have to break that habit and I am seeing a counselor myself to help me. The thought never comes to me that the change can be legit. Maybe he’s not answering his phone because it died or he is busy studying or he is in the shower. I automatically see something bad and it just lingers and festers and the panic sets in. It’s a hell of a life but I have to accept it.

[danman83]

I know what you are saying my mum is exactly the same with me. I guess all you can do is be there for him and make him aware. There is a lot of help there. I find listening to podcast on recovery stories help me. Plus the is a guy from america. Who has his own podcast called .. the alan charles show.. he talks about his 24 year coke habbit and how he beat it. Theres always hope so dont give up.

[sotired]

Well another therapy session last night. We talked about the struggles I have with no longer being in a position of control when it comes to my son. The hard part is when there are even the slightest deviations from the norm. They explode in my mind and I go from zero to 100 miles per hour thinking the worst. It is really hard when you know nothing or get very brief answers to questions. After all this time torturing myself it is hard to just let go. Plus usually the reason for any deviations from the norm are nowhere even close to what I was conjuring up in my mind. He has been dating this really pretty girl. He dated her every week for 8 weeks in a row. The ninth week there was no date and it took me like one minute and I already thought up 12 reasons why there was no date. He relapsed. No money because he blew it all on drugs. She found out he was using and dumped him, etc. etc. etc. I’ll get to a place of peace one day I hope. The counseling helps. He has been “on his own” for about 7 weeks now and I realize that in the 7 week period if things were the same and I was in complete control it would not have made any difference. He still would have lived the same life……just would have to do it behind my back, so the worrying and turning stomach I felt would have been for nothing you know what I mean? I have to keep telling myself all is well….until it isn’t.

[danman83]

Do you know what he is using rob? I think thats all we do as parents, is worry and worry about our children. We as parents just want the best for them and just try and control them so they dont make the same mistakes like we did.

But at the end of the day we cant. They have there own life and own mistakes to learn. My 16 year old hasnt used yet but some of his friends sell drugs on snapchat and facebook! Its crazy now.

So i worry alot as well but i cannot stop what he does when i am not there.

Does he want to go any meetings?

[sotired]

I have tried several times to get him to see a counselor. The lady who prescribed the Suboxone for him said SEVERAL times the medication alone is about 15% effective but medicine AND counseling is about 85%

He has seen a few of them from time to time but I doubt he ever really got into the issues. He just went because I forced him to go.

This time I stopped what I was doing, which was enabling him and taking the urgency away. I would solve all the problems. Retrieve everything from the pawn shops, pay all the delinquent bills etc. When I did that the urgency was gone!!!

So this time I said you are on your own. If you want to pawn everything you own go ahead. If you want it back then save your money and go get it back!

I think the limits now set are working because he knows it’s all up to him now. I am still not sure he is seeing anyone but I know he told me he is now signed up for the rehab app. I also fill him in on some of my counseling topics and he is very appreciative of me taking the time and effort to educate myself.

It’s all so hard.

[danman83]

There is also a pod cast. Called .. the addiction podcast.. point of no return…

And its american and they are associated with a rehab called.. narcanon i think. And there are so many ex addicts talking about how this rehab is great and works.

They do it different to other rehabs. They have a method of saunas which sweats out all the toxins. Give u vitamins and councilling. Have a look into that..hope your ok. Try not to worry to much as it will make you ill

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