[starlight-2]

15 months ago it came to light that my Dad had a cocaine addiction. I don’t know why but my suspicions started way before it came out. My Dad insisted he would stop and that he had. I knew he wouldn’t be able to, he had hidden debt so I knew it was bad.

My mum gave him the benefit of the doubt. Fast forward 15 months and we are no further forward and it’s all coming to a head again. I wrote him a letter to tell him how I felt, he still denied using. He took a test yesterday after going on and on, it was positive! He still denied it!

My mum is at breaking point. She knows she needs to walk away but that would mean giving up the marital home with the split finances not giving her enough to buy somewhere else. I just don’t know what to say or do.

I’m angry that my own Dad chooses drugs over his family 🙁

[starlight-2]

Can I ask…can an addict come off cocaine without professional help?

[lindyloo]

Hi Starlight2,

Welcome the forum, everyone here has a loved one who has addictions and also some people in recovery offering support and advice too.

Thank you sharing your story here. I’m so sorry to hear that your dad’s addiction is turning your world’s upside down. This is what this evil drug is like, it turns the person you love into someone you don’t like . It turns them into people, they themselves don’t like either.

This need for the drug, is all they think about, people they love are pushed to the side. Deep inside, they do still care, it’s just the need for cocaine is stronger.

My 28yr old son has alcohol and cocaine addictions. I know only too well what it can do to a loving family.

I wish I had the answers Starlight, but until your dad admits he has a problem and wants help- there’s not a lot we as loved ones can do.

My son came to us for help 2 years ago, he joined AA and CA meetings regularly. Got a sponsor, they do the 12 steps program, Google it. The adfam homepage offer advice and support also the Icarus trust posts here too.

If you click ‘share your story ‘ and read Danman83 story, he is a person in recovery, his advice and story is there to support others.

I think recovery can be achieved without professional help, but the addict needs to seek the help, be totally committed to the program and trust those who want to help him.

My son has relapsed in the past, but is currently 4 months clean. It’s so hard for him, every day is a battle. But I do tell him I love him every day, and he loves me too. Its an evil drug, but many people are strong enough to overcome it for a better life.

Take care of yourself, confide in someone close. Find time to enjoy life , don’t let the effects of this evil drug take over your family.

Ask your mum to contact the above contacts. Tell her to be strong and seek advice and support too.

Sending you hugs

Lx

[starlight-2]

Thank you for your reply Lindyloo, it means a lot. I’m experiencing every emotion going. I just don’t know what to do 🙁

[icarus-trust]

Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry that your dad’s addiction is having such a bad affect on you and your mum.

I work for Icarus trust which is a charity that supports people having to deal with addiction in their family. We have people, called our Family Friends, who are trained and experienced and would understand what you are going through. If you get in touch one of them would contact you, and talking might help to answer your questions and find a way forward.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

I hope this helps. Good luck.

[lindyloo]

You’re welcome Starlight, I noticed the Icarus trust has replied to you too. I would suggest you, and more so your mum should contact them. You both need someone on your side who will help and support you through this difficult time.

Keep posting here, read the other threads, you’ll see the devastation this evil drug can cause a family.

Take care of yourself too Starlight.

Sending you hugs ❤

Lx

[starlight-2]

I can’t understand how someone we love blatantly lies to us ☹️I’ve even started to question whether it’s me. It is devastating x

[lindyloo]

That’s what this evil drug does, it turns people we love into selfish, aggressive creatures who care about nothing but where the next fix is coming from. So sad really.

I hope he comes to his senses before he loses everything, although sometimes this has to happen for them to seek help .

He does love you all deep down, it’s just the need to use cocaine is greater.

Let him know you love him but hate what the addiction is doing to the family.

Lx ❤

[starlight-2]

Another positive test tonight yet he still denies using. I just don’t know what to do anymore ????

[lindyloo]

Hi Starlight, sorry to hear this. Ot must be so frustrating for you.

There’s little we can do until our loved ones admit they have a problem and want support.

Try contacting Icarus trust or Adfam homepage for more advice and support.

Please look after yourself too.

Sending hugs ❤

Lx

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