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Hi everyone. First time here and just looking for anyone who’s been through the same as me. My 19 yo son is addicted to Valium, ecstasy and anything else he can get his hands on. He has a drug worker and psychiatrist and a housing worker as he declared himself homeless. I’ve bent over backwards trying everything I possibly can to help, honestly everything. He has a good couple of days, I get my hopes up, then there he goes totally out his face putting himself in so many risky situations. I feel broken to the point I feel nothing anymore. I’ve tried being there all the time, distancing myself and everything in between but it’s hopeless. I have an 8 yo son as well who this gets kept hidden from and I actually work with teenagers from residential and secure units as my job. My life feels like one bad bit of news after the other and I’m just waiting on a call one day to tell me he’s dead. My life revolves around this and I can’t keep going on like this.
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Hi Ty85,
Welcome to the forum. Everyone here has a loved one who has an addiction too. There’s lots of advice and support on the forum homepage and also the Icarus trust posts here.
There is also good advice from people in recovery . Read the other threads too, click onto ‘share your story ‘ so many of us worrying about sons (mostly sons) and daughters and parents too.
My son has alcohol and cocaine addictions and has been dabbling for 10years. We kind of guessed, all the signs were there, looking like s**t, in debt, missing work, looking unkempt and losing interest in everything, aggressive, lying, blaming us for everything…you name it.
He reached out when he was really struggling, spoke to doctors joined AA Ca and NA meetings, now online daily, met with others all trying to stop, hot a sponsor and works through the 12 step program. There are still ups and downs but you have to try and detach yourself sometime from it, or it will consume you like it consumes them.
Try meditation, long walks , or a drive, a nice coffee somewhere..confide in someone close…you need to. People hear are a great comfort too. No need to feel alone in this.
Ultimately it begins and ends with them , until they decide they want to stop and reach desperate situations. They still need your love and support , food maybe, but no more cash to support their addiction.
Always here to chat, take care of yourself and your other child first and foremost.
Lx
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My son started around that age too.
Don’t worry you’re not alone.
Lx
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