Hi Samanta,
Thank you for posting. I can see how this is a really hard choice for you to have to make and maybe you would like to talk with someone who would understand what you are up against.
The Icarus Trust, the charity I work for, has a team of trained and experienced people that we call ‘Family Friends. If you contact us one of them would listen to you and maybe talking through things would help you to find a way ahead.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
I hope that this is useful and that you can get some support for yourself as well your boyfriend.
Good luck with everything.