[directionless]

Hello Gil, I can’t offer any answers but I empathise with you. My husband is an alcoholic and I’ve spend so much time over the years questioning and doubting myself, when he was in denial or lying about what he’d been doing.

Please take care of yourself and get support if you need it.

[dnanon]

Hi Gil, unless your partner wants to quit himself there is very little you can do for him. They become totally emotionless and can switch off from everything other than their addiction. I don’t want to tell you what to do but I fear that things are only going to get worse. If you yourself need help or advice there should be a local drug advisory service in your area. You can also get advice from the Icarus Trust. Best of luck.

[hox]

I have been there myself. Loving husband abusing alcohol and taking cocaine. Disappearing. The come downs when he returns, the physical symptoms. They can be good at hiding their addictions and will lie and manipulate.

There is no comfort for us until your partner acknowledges he has a problem and seeks help. Only he can do this.

Emotions will not come into it, the coke sees to that I’m afraid and my heart goes out to you.

I hope he sees the light soon before its too late. All you can do is be there for him when he needs you so look after yourself and be strong.

[trainer28]

Having been in a relationship with an addict for years, it’s now too painful and difficult to leave due to love, loyalty, children and shared assets. I also don’t want to add to his burden, therefore my advice may sound harsh but if you can leave then this might be the best time to do it.

You deserve a good relationship and if the first year has been like this, then what are later years going to be like? It doesn’t mean you can’t point him in the direction of help at a local support centre if he wants it. Take care and I apologise if this sounds harsh.

[Author]

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