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I am so sorry you are going through this, and it sounds like you’re doing it alone. My partner is 45 and and an Alcoholic, I have found writing everything down here helps even if nobody responds. It’s heartbreaking watching them destroy themselves. This year has been quite a bad year, pregnancy I had the baby died, my 11 year old daughter was trolled and groomed into self harming and yesterday my ex husband and father of my three young daughters told me he has kidney cancer, my partner responded to all of these by extreme drinking resulting in him having to go to hospital. He’s drunk now upstairs after taking today off work to support me, what a crock, all he’s done for me is make me feel worse and yet I still love him. I am sorry you are having to watch your son ruin his life in this way, I wish my partner had family that cared that I could reach out to but he doesn’t, he grew up in care from 3 years old. You have to remember to look after you is the only advice I can give, you sound like an amazing mother and I hope your son finds it in him to start a road to recovery and you find the peace you deserve xx
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