[mac36]

My 45 yr old son has been an alcoholic for the past 15-20 years. He has gotten 3 DUI’s, the last one was 10 years ago. He has spent time in jail and prison for the DUI’s. So he never got his drivers license back, thank goodness.

He lives alone in his apartment, holds down a job (I don’t know how) and the last 6 years goes binge drinking every night to the point where he has several seizures. He went drinking in August 2020, he was drunk and called in a fake distress call to police and he tried to ambush them by hiding in the dark behind a building and came at them with a hammer, screwdriver and baton. He was attempting a suicide by cop. The police had to taze him to get him to stop coming at them in a threatening manner. The police told me he was lucky they had tazers or they would have had no choice but to shoot him. After that incident he spent 10 days in the phsyc ward and they put him on anti-drinking meds..he will get sick if he drinks. But that only lasted about 2 weeks, so now he is not taking meds and back to binge drinking every night after work. This is very hard for me to deal with, I am not proud of what he is doing, but I also am watching him waste his life/money away.

I have been married for 28 yrs to my current husband, I had my 2 kids (son and daughter ) from a previous marriage when we got married. We never had kids of our own, our choice. So my husband has no idea what it is like being a parent and worrying about your kids. And my husband’s family has never had to deal with anything like this…having an alcoholic in the family. My husband is so worried that my son’s drinking will get out to his family and/or the community we live in and put a “black mark” on his family name. 2 years ago we got a call to come to the hospital as my son had several seizures at the bar from binge drinking so they called an ambulance. My husband went with me to the hospital ( the last time he ever went with me). Husband said to me on the way home “We are not telling my family about this.” Oh thanks for your spousal support, that really hurt when he said that. I have been called to the hospital about 5 times since then the past 2 years due to my son’s drinking seizures. Husband just rolls his eyes when my son’s girlfriend calls me to update me on what is going on with my son. They do not live together she lives in another town 20 miles from son’s house. I feel like I am back to the days where I was raising my kids on my own before we got married. It is my problem to deal with in husbands eyes, so I feel very alone and don’t know what to do. I have learned not to enable my son, I do not give him cash because he will just spend it on drinking but do buy him a few groceries now and then, which is not much. He pays his own rent, etc. I refuse to start paying his monthly bills or he will never learn to take care of himself. I am scared they are going to find him dead in his apartment one of these days from the drunken seizures he has. I guess I am looking for advice as to how to handle this situation. My son thinks he is hiding all of this from me, he does not know his girlfriend calls me with updates. He will not sit down and talk to me about it at all. He acts as if everything is just fine in his life, when I know it is not. Thanks for listening.

[l54321]

I am so sorry you are going through this, and it sounds like you’re doing it alone. My partner is 45 and and an Alcoholic, I have found writing everything down here helps even if nobody responds. It’s heartbreaking watching them destroy themselves. This year has been quite a bad year, pregnancy I had the baby died, my 11 year old daughter was trolled and groomed into self harming and yesterday my ex husband and father of my three young daughters told me he has kidney cancer, my partner responded to all of these by extreme drinking resulting in him having to go to hospital. He’s drunk now upstairs after taking today off work to support me, what a crock, all he’s done for me is make me feel worse and yet I still love him. I am sorry you are having to watch your son ruin his life in this way, I wish my partner had family that cared that I could reach out to but he doesn’t, he grew up in care from 3 years old. You have to remember to look after you is the only advice I can give, you sound like an amazing mother and I hope your son finds it in him to start a road to recovery and you find the peace you deserve xx

[Author]

Posts