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My fiance has steadily been drinking more and more, seems to be since our child was born. I work evenings, just a few hours and there has been a few occasions where I have returned from work and he’s wasted, meaning our child is in the sole care of a drunk person. To tackle this I have been calling in sick when he says he is going to drink or mother in law is babysitting. I was due to start a new job with day hours and nursery covering childcare, the plan was to then save a bit of money and leave. This has all gone to pot since covid-19 and there is no way out until it’s all over (I’m a keyworker and can’t risk moving in with anyone as my options are people who are at high risk). He’s actually doing well when I’m at work at the moment which I make sure I thank him for, when I’m not at work it’s a different story. I’m talking up to 4 bottles of wine, an entire litre of vodka etc. Doesn’t know what he’s doing, is verbally abusive. I just agree with whatever he’s saying to keep the peace, when in my mind I loathe him and have now come to the stage where I want to hurt him (I wouldn’t) but I’m begining to lose my coping mechanisms. Before I was the most chilled out, easy going person on earth. Now I have anxiety and stress. Once this is over, I’m out. I’ve tried everything to help him, but he’s clearly not interested in helping himself and myself and our child are constantly second best to alcohol. Anyone got any tips on coping or how to feel like my old self again without it being forced and faked?
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It sounds tough at the minute with lockdown and having to contend with issues at home, I can relate as I am in similar standings to your partner. Has it got worse during the outbreak or is it always of that level? Lockdown has made it hard for me to control myself. Is it worth leaving a few weeks when whatever the new normal is starts and setting some agreements in place to try stick by? You sound patient as a saint, for your childs sake maybe worth a few weeks tester? Why does he drink so heavily, is there a trigger?
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