[onetree20]

Hi all. So my husband has a alcohol & cocaine problem. It has gradually got worse over the years. To the point where I don’t even know him anymore. I dont even know myself anymore because of it. It rules my life. He won’t get help even though it is ruining everything around him. His job has been effected. His relationships with people are strained & our kids are seeing too much anger & upset. I’ve begged and pleaded for him to get help. But he just blames me. He says that I should back him 100% always. Whether he’s right or wrong. That I should show him love even when he’s drunk. Now I love him. I’ve been with him for 20 years since we were teenagers. And I know he has an addictive personality. But over the past 4 years. He has changed so much he never used to drink and now he can’t even have 1 without wanting more and more. I know he’s depressed & I know he needs help. But he turns to drink. And drugs to cope. And I just don’t know what to do any more. Its like he hates me now with the awful things he says. I’m just so lost I never thought this would be us. I always imagined us being grey and old together. But now I just don’t know. How can somebody change so much. How can somebody act like they don’t care about you. Its heart breaking. And the sad thing is. He always manages to get me back on side thinking things will get better. But he still doesn’t get the help that I know he needs.

[helenl]

The things will never get better..promises..it’s not him you knew, it’s cocaine..his personality is destroyed…just get rid if him..you deserve the life,colourful and full of happiness. You just feel sorry for him..it’s not a love. The love never brings sadness, stress and constant cries..it’s up to you to stay and to be the nurse, babysitter, to be abused all the time..or to start up your life, your beautiful life full of kindness and respect. No matter what just pit your head together and move on!

[zesty]

best thing to do is wait until he is sober and go on a walk with him and talk about how you feel and what you want to happen. people make a lot of regrettable decisions on cocaine, it is a disgusting drug that makes you forget everything in life that is important to you because all you care about is keeping on getting that high. he needs a wake up call – after talking about it and whether he seems regretful and wants to be better or not you should leave the house with your children for a few days to a week to make him understand that this is real life and he’s risking losing all those he loves and cares about – if his brain is strong enough and he has enough will power he will admit he needs help and will make the effort to change, the way he reacts after you and your children leave will tell you everything you want to know regarding whether he is capable of change or not. best of luck, sending lots of love your way x

[kelseyn]

Hi I am in a similar situation I have been with my fiancee for 13 years he tells me how much he loves me and are 4 children we got together I recently found I was pregnant with number 5 and he was over the moon about it but the past week he been on a bender with a family friend who’s a woman but he swears nothing is going on between them they are just best friends but I heard them talking in my garden yesterday and I heard her say no I am not going to put her thro this no more I love u both, I asked them to leave but didnt expect him to stay out all night a d day with her, he just text me asking if I have any money as he is struck in dover but has no fuel to get back I said I will only transfer money if he comes home to us so we can talk about what’s going on with us.

Totally lost and upset

[Author]

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