[ktc]

I separated from my husband 3 months ago due to his addiction to snorting his prescription meds. Since the split he spiralled out of control he’s been taking cocaine also, though I don’t know if this is a new thing or not. I’ve had to call the police several times, first time he was hinting he was going to kill himself, second he came to the house spying through windows then crashed the car. Third time I discovered he had installed listening devices in my living room and bedroom. Since this I’ve told him I don’t want him here anymore. Problem is we have 2 kids together who he’s not really seen in 6 weeks. He keeps pushing to see them, I organised a few hours at his sisters with her supervision but he’s pushing to see them alone and pushing to come in and sort out all of his belongings I asked him to come with someone but apparently this is too degrading for him. He’s very good at acting as though he’s ok for periods of time, he’s been going to meetings (he says) he says he’s as clean as he’s going to get (still smoking weed). He blames me for everything and can’t understand why I don’t want to be with him. I just don’t know what to do he can get very aggressive but he can’t see this himself. I don’t want to keep him and the kids separated forever but don’t trust him alone with them, he says things to the youngest who’s 5 to make her upset he’s not coming home instead of making it ok for her. I find it really hard to fight him but don’t know where to go from here.

[laylab1]

You can’t allow him to see the kids, unless supervised. He is the one with addiction not you, and you with a clear head need to make right decision here. God forbid if something happens to the kids you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself.

He needs to change if he wants to see his kids it’s plain and simple. Your kids are innocent here. They don’t deserve to see their dad under the influence of substance abuse. You don’t want your kids to think it’s ok to abuse any substance either.

If I was you (and I am you) with similar story I left he is not allowed to see them until he cleans himself up. And from looks of it he has no intentions of doing it. Coke and his gf is more important their his kids.

He calls every once in a while saying he will kill him self but he won’t. addicts are too selfish to end their life. It’s just their way to guild you into helping them.

You didn’t get married and have kids to be abused and for your kids to be abused and lied to and manipulated.

He is the only one that can stop his addiction and actions HE IS GROWN ADULT. When he cleans up your kids will be there to welcome their dad back.

Good luck!!’

[icarus-trust]

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry you and your children are having such a hard time due to your husband’s addiction. If you would like to talk to someone to help you get answers to your questions please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people like you who are dealing with addiction in their family. If you get in touch one of our trained and experienced Family Friends would talk with you and perhaps help you to see a way forward.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

All the best to you.

[Author]

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